Whatever You're Doing

This song I've been hearing on the radio recently has really got me thinking. I've heard it play plenty of times before but never thought too much of it. It's weird how a song can play and mean nothing but at a different moment in your life it means a whole lot more to you and it speaks to you. This song is doing that. I read the words to it and it's sort of where I am at in my journey or better yet where I hope to be in it. There is so much stuff going on inside of me and at times it makes me me slightly crazy. I was asked recently where I see myself in five years. The horrible answer I gave was..sadly I see myself in the same place I am at now. Oh my goodness..I hate that answer! I SO do not want to be where I am at right now. Where I am at is WAY better where I have been but my goodness I want to be in a even better place and to get there..There's a journey I have to take. There are things from the past I need to talk about. Things I need to move on from. Things I need to forgive myself for. All things I haven't quite done yet. Things I'm not sure how to do. I know that the Lord is working in me and on my behalf but I know that there are also things that I need to do. I'm not sure what those things are yet. Hmm...I think I need to go pay somebody a visit I haven't seen in awhile. It does feel like chaos inside of me... but it's ok and I'm not totally freaking out...yet...it's really ok. Like the song says..I need to clean house..that's within myself. I want to be a new happier, whole, healthier me. That's a HUGE goal for this year. I'm heading in the right direction. The road has been very hard to get where I'm at. I'm so thankful for an awesome, loving God who never gives up on me, and loving, caring people in my life who are pretty persistent at times. They need to be. If they weren't..I wouldn't have gotten this far. God is doing so much in me and it's great. Like I said there are things I need to do too. Things I have not done yet. Things I've refused to do..but a little part of me knows that if I don't ever do these things I will never be whole and I will battle them for the rest of my life. I don't want the battle to last forever. I want it to end and finally be done with it and put it all to rest and let it be the past and to be able to leave it in the past.


Yet though I am not what I ought to be, nor what I should be, nor what I hope to be, I can truly say, I am not what I once was."..John Newton






Whatever You're Doing (Something Heavenly)
by Sanctus Real



It's time for healing
time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender



Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos, somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly



Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender... To...



Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos, somehow there's peace
And though it's hard to surrender to what I can't see
I'm giving in to something heavenly



Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears



Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life
something heavenly



Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This is something bigger than me
Larger than life
something heavenly
Something heavenly



It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out