To Sit In The Lap of the Father

ok..some hefty stuff has been on my mind. I'll admit that the past few weeks really have not been good ones and I've felt discouraged on and off. Most of the time on the verge of tears. Life is sometimes very hard to take.
Last night at our small home groups(Bible Study) we did some worship songs that really touched my heart. I'll put the lyrics below. They brought tears to my eyes. To myself...I was thinking.."I'm NOT going to cry in front of all these people." I tried to hide it..not too sure how well that worked. Someone had me read a verse before we even started and then he read it to the group. Not exactly sure where it's from but I do know it's in Isiah. this is part of it. "my ways are not your ways" I read that to myself..and though..ok..I know that. It really hit me...then I was thinking ..what do I do with that??
So, we did the worship which was great...then at the end..I'm not why..but this really got to me too....our host told us a little story about when her oldest daughter was a little child and would run up to her mom and climb in her lap while she was doing worship.She would do this all the time. It didn't bother the little girl or her mom that she was there. She didn't let the fact that her mom was in the middle of worship stop her from being near her mom. THEN....our host compared that to climbing in the lap of our Heavenly Father. That He wants us to go to Him & climb in His lap and not let anything hinder us from doing so. Oh to sit in the lap of my Father. :) I'll admit that this is something I don't do. I wish I did. There are things that I allow in my life to prevent from doing so. I want to be able to always run to my Father. Sit in His lap..no matter what.
Another thing last night....we always end in prayer..pray for whom ever needs it. The host wanted prayer, she was feeling ill. My friend said ok..we'll pray for her then for Linda(me) I just shook my head no. I should've let them. I have felt like a broken vessel that needs to allow the hand of the Father to fix. I just walked away. I really need to stop doing that. It is a weak area for me. My faith is not always strong. I try..God knows I really do try. That's it in a nut shell. Here are a couple of very beautiful songs we sang last night.
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--Come and Fill Me Up --

I can feel you flowin' thru me
Holy Spirit, come 'n' fill me up
Come and fill me up

Love 'n' mercy fill my senses
I am thirsty for your presence, Lord
Come and fill me up

Lord, let your mercy wash away all of my sin
Fill me completely with your love once again

I need you. I want you. I love your presence
I need you. I want you. I love your presence
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--Love of my Soul- David Ruis---

When living here has caused me pain
Things I just don?t understand
I must recount Your faithfulness
And the mercy of Your hand

When everything is said and done
And there?s nothing left to say
The cross of Christ is proof enough
You are good, you are good

Your mercy Lord has pierced my heart
It brings me to my knees
In reverent fear I?ll trust Your ways
And worship at Your feet

When everything is said and done
And there's nothing left to say
The cross of Christ is proof enough
You are good, You are good

You're the lover of my soul
You're the healer of my heart
And I know that You're standing here oh Lord
We will never, no never be apart

Oh to be a friend of God
How sweet to be a friend of God