Emotionally Drained

I
I close my eyes
I hear you whisper my name
I feel your presence
in the depth of my soul
I feel your touch
I feel your love for me
as you whisper
"my child do not be afraid"
I feel a warmth
I feel your embrace
as you whisper
"For I am with you always"
I bow my head to pray
as silent tears
run down my face
I feel a release within me
giving you everything
I hold within
and I ask for forgiveness of my sins
I feel you wiping the tears
from my eyes
I see you smiling at me
I feel your complete love for me.
11/3/08(c) L.Carpenter

Ok...So I wrote this yesterday. I do totally feel all of these things..but it has been so hard. Today I am totally emotionally drained. I feel like I am on the verge of tears and I am going to fall apart at any moment. I am really really trying hard to have faith and trust in Him, but I am really finding that really hard to do. I don't blame the Lord for anything that is happening in our lives right now. I feel like I am totally being tested and I feel like I'm failing. :( I am not my happy chipper self. I am very thankful for everything and everybody He has blessed me with. He really is an awesome God and I love Him with all of my being and want to live my life for Him. He has done so many wonderful things for me. Life is hard. It can be very trying at times and it's SO easy to loose focus. I still have my focus on Him...it's just the trust thing...trusting that He can and will eventually pull us out of this rut we are in.