Life

Life these days have not been the best. I've shead a lot of tears. I'm in a lot of emotional pain and I am really having a difficult time. The man that I've come to love very much has told me that he needs some space. He said that we need a break. In my head I wonder what does that mean. He told me on the phone. We talked on the phone for quite a while. He told me it doesnt have to be a bad thing. He said it's so I can work on the things personally that I need to work on. There are many things that have come up recently that I do need to work on. He's told me that he cares about me a lot. He wants to work things out. That Im good and that hes lucky to have me and that he's not giving up on me....I feel scared. Insecure about everything. He told me I could still live in his house. He also said that if he didnt think there was any hope that I wouldnt be there and he wouldnt give me false hope if he didnt think there were any at all. It all hurts. I want to text, call I M, see him.,...I want him. I love him and his children so much. I cant imagine my life without them. They, in the last year and a half have come a huge portion of my life. He said that he needs to work on his patients too, and not be so quick to snap at me. He said the past few weeks have been so much on him, so much going on that it's taken a toll on him and that he needs to step back and regroup, reprioritize. I asked him to please put me on his priority list, if he thought I was worth it. It said that I was worth it. He told be to be patient and give it some real time. It's hard. I dont want to wait. I want him now. I'm sad and I hurt and I want to hold him, hug him. He has said that I'm clingy and needy. I do text a lot and stuff. I try not to, but its hard. Ive just been so over whelmed with everything in my life. It really has taken a toll on me.